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Rules for buying me a gift

Updated: Apr 4, 2022


  1. Must be practical, something I can use on a regular basis

  2. If it's clothes, make sure I picked it out

  3. Give it to me on a holiday where gifts are expected (don't surprise me with an unexpected gift on a random day)

  4. Make sure it's not too expensive (max $100 unless you're my parents)

I used to struggle with receiving gifts. As you can see, I had a list of requirements if someone planned to get me a gift! I realized over the past few months that I struggled with receiving gifts because I struggled with worthiness. I didn't feel like I deserved them. Period.

Some of this belief is rooted in childhood, but most of it, especially in relationships, arose from my unhealthy marriage. I was constantly told,

"You're ugly."

"You're worthless."

"No one would ever want to touch you."

"You're unattractive."

"You're crazy."

After hearing these things on a daily basis for 3 years, I started to believe them. Then they became the words I spoke over myself. So when I finally started dating someone that treated me decent, I didn't feel deserving of it.

Feeling deserving of gifts is a surface level thing compared to feeling worthy of being talked to in a respectful manner. But they go hand-in-hand. Worthiness is a state of mind - core beliefs about yourself. Not what someone else says about you.

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